How Pig Latin Began - 11/9/82

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One Winter in Italy, there was a girl named Susan. She had long, curly brown hair and always wore barrets with the word "Artist" on both of them. Susan never knew what that meant, but she wore them because she thought that they were good luck. Susan didn't have parents or brothers and sisters and she didn't know any of her reletives. She wanted to at least live in an orphan home but she didn't know where any orphan homes were. Susan didn't have a last name, but she always called herself "Susan Pig Latin."

Part I

One day an old man came down the street and noticed Susan. (He knew Susan.) "Susan!" he shouted. "Hi!" Susan shouted back. Susan ran over to the old man and extended her hand out. "Glad to see you, Susan," he said. "Long time no see." they both said happily.

"Watch out!" cried Susan. "What?" asked the old man. "That saucer is heading for your head! Watch out! Duck!" cried Susan. The saucer went over the old man's head, but it rebounded off the ground and smashed into an apartment building. And luckily a friend of Susan's was watching. Her name was Marie. Just at that very moment Susan thought, "Since I don't have anything to do I will invent a secret language." "Pig Latin!" she shouted. "Why did you shout your last name!" asked Marie. "Because I have an idea. I can invent a secret language. And Pig Latin would be perfet." That night Susan stayed up and thought, "Pig Latin, take the first consonent bring it to the end and add "ay." "No, I think if there is a vowel at the beginning then you just add "ay". "Good! I am done!" "Now I will sleep. Where should I sleep tonight? Look! There is a nice spot right in a cozy alley." Susan went to sleep and kept thinking of the language and how maybe people would like it.

The next morning a newsreporter came dancing down the street looking for a story. "I have one!" Susan cried. "What is the story?" asked the newsreporter. "I just invented 'Pig Latin.'" "How does Pig Latin go? What is Pig Latin?" asked the newsreporter. "You take a word like "eat" and add "ay". If the word begins with a consanent then bring the consanent to the end and add "ay", like the word "then" would be "hentay!" Get it?" "Yes! Excellentay torysay!" "I will report it!" he said. They spent one hour doing the report and the newsreporter had finished his report and he read it on the five o'clock news.

Susan did not know it but Princess Diana and Prince Charles were watching the five o'clock news in England and they tuned in Italy. So they saw that she was an orphan and was famous so they called up the five o'clock news station and said, "This is Prince Charles and my wife and I want to adopt Susan." "Oh! Susan?" asked the newsreporter. "Yes!" said Prince Charles. "I will arrive tomorrow. Bye!" "Susan! Guess what! You are going to be adopted by Prince Charles and Lady Diana!" cried the newsreporter. "I am? Honest?" asked Susan. "Honest," siad the newsreporter.

The next day Prince Charles and Lady Diana arrived and Susan took off with them. The rest of Susan's life Susan was stuck to Lady Diana, as if they were Siamese twins!

The End!